what a difference a day makes?

Still drookit, still frezin, but slightly less knackered.  JogScotland night tonight and once again they are brilliant with me.  Felt a good bit easier tonight - maybe the lamp posts are helping.  Bring on the lamp posts!!! :D

Drookit, freezin an knackered!

So, I guess this is good?  Lamp posts tonight - 2.61K in 32 minutes. It actually felt a little bit easier - which I suppose given the weather is a good think.

Still really, really, REALLY struggling with the eating part - always feeling bloated and with a huge belly to cart about.  Still - I gess I keep going and get thru the autumn then winter.  Then we'll see what happens in the spring and summer.

Week 8 of 10 of the jog Scotland programme starts tomorrow night too - so we'll see how that goes.  Then phase two and the second 10 week block.  I guess I have to keep reminding myself how far I've come when I feel like this.

Wee walk tonight

3.5K tonight in 37 minutes, up and down hill for most of it so quite pleased with that. Again without stopping, although I guess I shouldn't really be celebrating that any more lol. #expectationsraised ;-)

So week 6 over.....

Mostly jogging and walking, no body pump at all this week, as I feel I'm struggling a wee bit with the jogging. Not much, just a wee bit more than I should be, but again I also think that might be down to eating too.  I know I'm not eating the right things, as sometimes I really feel bloated when running.  Real real problems over the last 4 weeks with the PCOS too.  That in itself is very draining, so not eating correctly will also not help it.  So anyway - this week has consisted of a walk on sunday, lamp posts on monday, jogscotland tue and thur and not very much today :D  Had a day off work, so caught up on housework/washing and then spent most of the day at my mum and dads.  Tomorrow morning, I'll either do the lamp posts, or I'll walk from the house, right round the long way past the gym and then back along the main road.  If i do the walk - I'll also do it on Sunday morning too.

Finally - I also entered another 5K this week.  The jogscotland Santa dash on 9th December.  Thought about doing one in Edinburgh on my birthday the Sunday before, but it looked a wee bit too serious for me. I'm still at the fun run stage.  With the term run being used extremely loosely lol.  Big thank you to my good pal Steph, who normally runs marathons for fun, but is coming along to run this with me and help me along.  I'll be following the jog scotland programme, whatever stage I'm at by then.  The only 2 things I want to achieve from this race however, is 1) to finish it and 2) to beat 63 minutes, my PB

a walk today

Went for a walk.  Was tasked with going for a 20 minute walk, but thought - I'll walk right rond teh scheme because that should take me about half an hour.  I walked right round teh scheme - it's 1.5k.  And it took me........ precisely 21 minutes and 52 seconds.  Absolutely delighted.  This definitely shows it is working. Would never have said it would only have taken me 20 minutes for that.  Despite the wee mini neds following me doing the Laurel and Hardy music and saying it was an earthquake every step I took.  We c@nts couldn't have been any more than 10.

Week 5 over!

Never booked body pump tonight, so I discovered a bit late lol, so instead I took myself off lampposting! Walked for 5 minutes warm up, then did the lampposts til the roundabout and back again. Total time 30 minutes, total distance 2.5k. Warm up/down time was obviously then 10 minutes which meant a 20 minute walk/jog time. If it was half and half, then I guess I did 10 minutes running tonight!! Result! Same again on Sunday, and body pump is definitely booked for Monday night ;-)

What a difference a day makes!

Very down, very low tonight.  Did the same as Tuesday, but felt every single step was an almighty struggle, felt like I cold have stopped within minutes of starting, and felt like I wanted to just cry.

Why? No idea. Absolutely none. Roll on tomorrow - for it is another day

I love waking up on a wednesday....

Day off training today.  Night of relaxing, watching tv and generally not doing very much.  Canny beat it :D

Didn't realise how long it was since I'd posted..

So since the last post - week 4 has come and gone.  I've missed one night of body pump, on Friday night, due to a night out, but made everything else.  And made all targets set.  again..... it's getting boring now eh?? lol NOT!!  Really chuffed with what I'm doing.  Realise now it's going to be a much longer road than I thought, but I'm up for it.  December 2nd 5K now looking dodgy - but I'll see as I get nearer the time.

Tonight's run was 1.37K in 18 minutes.
5 min warm up then
1x 1 min jog, 25 sec walk,
2x35 sec jog with 25sec walks in between,
1x40 sec jog, 20 sec walk, and
2x35 sec jog with 25 sec walk in between and then
5 min warm down walk.

Got a new plan for the rest of the weeks - so something to aim for and I'm also planning on one of the weekend days doing the "lamp posts" outside the house.  That is 2.5k - I'll be doing the 5 minute warm up and down walks, then alternating rnning/walking between the remaining lamp posts.  Lets see how that goes.

At the weekend there, I was out - and got a few lovely comments about how great I was looking and how much weight I was losing.  That's most definitely a booster for me. Also folk at work that I haven;t seen for a wee while - a lot are saying "you look great, have you been on holiday?!"  They can't qite pt their finger on what's different about me.  Which suits me just fine, as I'm very much an "under the radar" type girl.  Even my own family were stunned when I showed them my "before and after" photo on my twitter account.  Because they are seeing me every day, they were obviously aware of my body shape changing, but were astounded at photographic evidence of the difference.  It's all good so far.  I really, really hope I can keep this going this time, although I really do think I will somehow ;-)

Will keep it low key all the way though

Week 3 of this 20 week block

........ dusted!!  All four nights done again and feeling awesome. Bring on week 4. I wish there was a fast forward button to take me to week 20 mind you, because I'm dying to see what I look like then!! I see progress in my appearance and I feel progress in my clothing. Still not weighed myself yet, and have no intentions of, but I also think it's fair to say that I've lost a wee bit. Happy happy happy x

The power of Freddie!!

Really didn't feel like this tonight at all - struggling for motivation big time, but I've been feeling awful lethargic all week. So anyway - off I went and to accompany my short drive I decided to blast "don't stop me now" and belt it out at the top of my lungs to get them going lol. It seemed to work - off we went with a different jog leader tonight. We did the 5 minute warm up then 8x30 jog/walks, followed by a alternate lamppost walk/jogging and a wee light wander to finish. Suffice to say when Freddie started again on the journey home, he got a wee wry smile ;-) Steph - I'm nicking your anthem, is that all right? X

Week 3

Worked it at body pump last night - tried to hammer the squats and lunges as my legs really aren't strong enough for this running. I feel it getting harder and harder and harder. Tonight's running was 6x30 sec pairs but a few uphills. It's difficult to explain how I feel this week - yesterday I felt grouchy and grumpy, today I feel a little spaced out and not able to concentrate on anything. Feeling a little low over doing less than Thursday, but a little more upbeat that a lot of it was uphill. This is a funny week :-/

Week two ends....

And overall - I'm very pleased.  Managed all four classes on both weeks.  Feeling fab and very energetic.  I'm even clearing out my wardrobes on a saturday and sunday, with enthusiasm now!!  Unheard of lol.  Slight knee pain between Thursday and Friday, but it's all fine today, so fingers crossed it's just been that it's not used to this kind of impact exercise.  2 down, 18 to go!!  Have also seen there's a 5K in Edinbrgh on 2nd December - which is my birthday.  Given that it was photos from that day LAST year that kick started all this, it seems like an apt one to be aiming to try and run.  So that's going to be my new target.  Similar to the old one of "run a 5K before Christmas" it'll now be "run the 5K in Edinburgh on 2/12"

another day another target aced!!

;-)  Yes!!!  What a difference taking it down from 10 reps to 8 reps.  Yes it's less, obviously - I know that.  But what a difference it made on Tuesday actually MANAGING what I set out to do!  The first week was a wee bit soul destroying knowing that I wasn't getting anywhere near the target and thinking just how much of a mountain I had to climb.  But lowering it very slightly to 8x25/30 jogging/walking was a masterstroke - thank you Cath!! So tonight I went there more buoyed up at managing it so much so that I did 8x30/30 jogging tonight with the 8th one actually being a FULL MINUTE!! Yessssssssss!  Just brilliant.  I'm so chuffed.  A big thank you to Sharon and Cath for sticking with me.  One day you'll get to read this - and you'll realise just how big a part you played in this for taking the time to do something which must be as hard for yo to slow down to as it is for me to make it up to.  I really appreciate it girls xx

Success!!

At last!  Well, sort of.  Third night at the jogging and third different person to take me lol.  Poisoned chalice indeed.  However - I just have to get on with it and do my best for every single one.  Tonight I was set the task of 8x25 secs running and 8x30 secs walking, with the 5 mins warm up and down and I DID it!!!  I'm so chuffed that I actually achieved something I was set instead of continually failing.  What a boost, what a buzz!!

Really struggled

With my head last night. Could not be bothered going to body pump as had a rotten day at work, shit journey home and had some other stuff to do too. With little encouragement I would have quite happily sacked the body pump and heading to do other things instead. However, they will still be there when I'm built like a Greek goddess instead of rivalling the Parthenon for acreage.

However - again I fought this wee inner demon trying to derail me and made myself go. And again, I was so glad I did. I did some extra weight at my strongest part - the arms - and kept the same for the rest. I achieved more in the legs dept in terms of squats and lunges and I felt boosted by the fact that our permanent instructor was back. Having only went back to the body pump last week, I didn't know her as she was off. However, it transpires that she is an extremely "normal" person. By that I mean she's not a superfit young lassie who's idea of overweight is doubling up on the lettuce leaves lol. She seems to have been a person who has an idea of weight issues and the mental struggles that they bring. I have to assume from her advice that she has been there too.

So bring on tonight with jog Scotland. Let's get this phase one level NAILED!!

End of week 1 thoughts

It's been an up and down week mentally. At times I've felt like throwing in the towel. Last night I almost walked out on the body pump too when I felt like it was going to be just me and when I felt how warm it was. And it was Friday night. But I made myself go. Because they are all just excuses really. I mean, what else would I have done? I needed to get the kitchen tidied and my washing done and bag packed for going away. So that extra hour and a half could have come in handy. But I did all that when I got home, and I got home with a lot more energy, vigour and motivation and in a lot more positive a frame of mind than I would've done if I hadn't gone.

Overall - that's I suppose representative of my week as a whole. There's been tough bits, bits where I've wanted to chuck it, highs, lows but ultimately.....? I'm glad I've done it and made it through. I'm proud of myself, but not getting carried away. I still can't do the beginners level, so I've a lot more work to do, but hey, still lapping everybody on the couch!! So - so far? Yessssss! Come on! One down, nineteen to go!

Tonight was a killer

It seems I was too much for the lovely man from Tuesday night to handle as he passed on the very hefty "help get campo fit" burden to a very nice lady. But boy did she make me work hard. Harder than I thought I was capable of and yes at times I succumbed and quit a few seconds early on the running bit, but in the end up - I did more than I did on Tuesday in progressing toward the "start line" of the programme. I'll not lie to you tho - we passed several bus stops, and had I had money in my hipper - I could have been tempted to chuck it all in. There were times when I felt I could not walk never mind run another single solitary step. There were times when I felt tears welling up in my eyes. But I kept going, and that is at least something I can be proud of tonight. I DID NOT QUIT! I think however, taking me might well become "the poisoned chalice" of this club. Time will tell I guess. If I have yet another person on Tuesday, I suppose I will know.

Anyway - back to documenting my feelings on how I felt. Following the stretches, I wandered to the car cursing that it was more than a foot away from where I stood! :-) my gut feeling right then and there was that I just wasn't cut out for it. My legs were like jelly, I wasn't able to achieve the beginners standard yet again and my instructor had abandoned me. All in all, I felt quite sorry for myself (you may have gathered this already lol) however, I drove home, made my dinner, downed a gallon of water while waiting, and marveled at how remarkably not sore I felt compared to Tuesday, and how those legs that were wobbly just 1km up the road felt very steady. As it was such a lovely night I sat outside and ate my dinner and mulled over what had happened. Tonight was hot. Very hot. Remember this is Glasgow, where anything above about -2 is classed as warm (yes, even in August!) So really what happened tonight was that I did better than I've ever done before, on a very very warm uncomfortable night.

So am I going back on Tuesday? You better believe it! And I'll have fitted in 2 sessions of body pump in between it too!!

A few more thoughts...

since I cannot sleep. At no point through this entire journey have I weighed myself. Nor do I have any invention to. I can clearly see and feel the difference, the people to whom I am closest and who know about this, tell me THEY can see a difference and most importantly I feel great. Now, cynics among you may say that close family and friends are "only saying that" to encourage me, when actually they don't see a difference. This is a thought that has definitely crossed my mind on more than one occasion also. However - the fact that today my favourite top looked like it was falling off me (sniff, sob), together with the fact that the people who are telling me this, I would 100% trust not to lie to me. Particularly not on this as they know how much it's meaning to me to do this. In fact, I said to one of those people earlier tonight - I can now see myself, in my mind's eye, crossing a finishing line somewhere, sometime with the tears tripping me. She says I'm weird, but apparently this is a good thing. I'll trust her on this, she runs marathons!! 

Second thing to note in this. I am NOT on a diet. I am a big girl now and I can eat what I want lol. Diets do not work, they are completely designed to make the company promoting it money and I also believe in some cases that they may be unhealthy. For years I have endured the "should you be having that if you're on a diet" jibes from the "tearoom police" This is another reason why I have kept this whole thing to myself. My menu consists, on the whole, of what it always has. I just now have some things in more quantity and some in less. For instance, my day generally will be cereal, sandwiches, dinner of some description. That's what it's always looked like. Difference now is that I have more fruit in between these meals, I have more rice, fewer chips (not that chips was a big vice of mine) more veg, fewer carry outs. But nothing at all is "not allowed" because by far the biggest difference now is in my having a hugely positive mindset rather than a hugely negative one. No more phrases like the aforementioned "not allowed" "I can't have that" "I shouldn't" "no thanks I'm being good" or any other such nonsense. Instead if I feel like having chocolate, or a Chinese, or a kebab, or a cooked breakfast, or a night or two (or three lol) out on the razz. I'll have it! Why shouldn't I? I can still achieve what I want to achieve by having these things occasionally. What I'm finding since I started this is that the more progress I see, the less I'm CHOOSING to eat this type of thing. Because that I think is the key word here - "choice". This whole thing and this whole life, well, it's mine, nobody else's. That makes it MY choice. And I'm choosing the road to the hairy Haggis :-) it's a tough road at times, but the upside far outweighs the down side.  And nobody said it was going to be an easy ride.

Putting my soapbox away to try for some sleep now ;-)

First night of jogscotland

Well - I did it.  I was right to panic a wee bit though lol, the 30 second runs were out of my reach, so we went for 10x20 second jogs and 10x40 seconds walking to start with, and we'll do the same again on Thursday.  I am the sole member of the "Beginners1" group so I have my own personal jog leader, which is actually great.  He's a really lovely man.  Really encouraging and very knowledgeable about what he was doing.  Very helpful indeed.  Back on Thursday for the same again and I'm back now, to being totally up for it again. however - I now have sore bits in places I never even knew existed, so I guess I must be doing something right!! Anyway - week one of twenty is now officially half way through, and I'm bloody knackered but happy!! :D