It's that mental barrier again - amazing!

It's amazing how just getting over one single mental barrier gives you hope?  So for almost 3 weeks I just could not get over that 2.5 min barrier.  Then I eventually managed the 2x2.5s last week (twice ;-) )

So this week's task is 5w, 2j, 2w, 3j, 5w.  So there's another big jump - THREE MINUTES.  I was up early this morning so decided - let's do this - let's get it over and done with and then I'll know where I am.  So off I went at a nice wee trot when the first running bit beeped.  2 minutes, no problem.  But I knew I could do that, so no credit for myself just yet lol.  2w and I turned to head back as the HIIT programme beep, beep, beeped at me to start running for 3.  What were you all worried about??  Eh??  lol  I managed the three minutes with few issues to be absolutely honest, and even had enough energy at the end to jump and punch the air as if I'd just scored the winning goal for Scotland in a world cup final........ ok so that might be a LITTLE far fetched ;-)  However - same again tomorrow morning (dependent on how the head is after tonight) again on Thursday and Saturday, and then Monday I can move on to next week's task.  No idea what that is yet, I just want to concentrate on getting this 2 min/3min down pat first.

See you all tomorrow xx

Week 10. Well week 20 actually.

Looking back to when i first set out on this path, i can scarcely believe how far I've come. I'm running for crying out loud - RUNNING I TELLS YA!

Now, bad weather, and a week's holiday have me a couple of weeks behind everyone else, which bothers me ever so slightly.  But not that much ;-) Because, for the first time probably since I started, I'm not going to be hard on myself,  I'm not going to say I've failed and I'm definitely NOT going to say I feel disappointed.  Well, how can I really, honestly say I'm disappointed in myself? 

In August when i started this, about ten seconds was my limit.  Now I'm getting down on myself because i can't quite push myself to do 2 and a half minutes. Twice.  In the one 20 minute session lol!!

I'll get there, I know I will. Just like I've got there with every other hurdle I've faced so far.  It might  be this week, it might not be. But one thing is absolutely certain. If it's not this week, it'll not be for the lack of effort.

The goal for some time in 2013 is to get a 5k under my belt. Whenever that happens to be. After that? Well who knows? Because I know I can do anything I want to now.

Have a great Christmas everyone - I'm planning on catching up on some of what I've missed on the plan, so no weeks off for me. But that's something I'm perfectly happy with - and ssshhh don't tell anyone, but I'm quite looking forward to it!

Lamp posts yesterday afternoon

1.9k alternate jogging and walking between lamp posts. But that's not even close to being the full story. Because in the morning, i did a 5k.

Yes, i did say i did a 5k and yes i did do the 1.9k in the afternoon. Why? Well, in my life in the past 2 years, I've had to face my biggest fear, as i got up to go to the toilet during the night to find a snake in my bathroom. In exotic, sub tropical err Glasgow. On Sunday i was forced to face another, if not fear, then certainly a harsh reality of being a "fat burd trying to run." And that is finishing last while the organisers tap their feet and gather up the cones as you pass them on your trek in.  Similar to a snake in the bathroom - this is something that has always been in the back of my mind might happen, but in reality both are highly unlikely to do so.

Well, now I've experienced both scenarios, and at the time of their occurrences, i am genuinely not sure which one made me  feel worse. Of course, in the cold light of the day after the race - the snake wins by a country mile, however, for one hour yesterday, i felt like i was the unfittest person in the world, i panicked and my plan to run went completely out the window and i walked the majority of the race.  Because literally, the stewards WERE picking up the cones as i passed them, and not only that, we also picked up stewards as we passed them. Figuratively speaking of course, but by the time finished my friend (to whom i owe a huge huge thank you, as without her presence, I'd have walked off the course as soon as it became obvious i was going to finish last) and i had our own wee entourage of half a dozen stewards, several wooden km marker posts and a dog.

I had hoped to be able to run for 10 minutes of the full 5k, and secretly i had hoped to absolutely smash that. Instead, i felt like i was in the way, with a steward clearing the path ahead of me, bawling at the early returners to keep to their left and thus (in my mind) out of my way. Suddenly, my breathing that I'd struggled so long with, and had worked so hard on, was shallow, panicky and i felt like i was out of breath just walking.

Anyway, fast forward to the end, as i genuinely could not tell you much that happened during the race, and i ran the last minute or so to the line. Annoyingly i wasn't out of breath, as I'd totally relaxed by then, and then everyone applauding as we eventually crossed the line.

I felt really embarrassed yesterday, and really disappointed at how i had reacted to the adversity thrown at me. So disappointed in fact, that when i got home i kept the trainers on and i went out and jogged the 2k road. Why? Because i could, and because it's what i felt i should have done in the race.

Today though? Well, today is a different kettle of fish. Today, i requested that my time not be put on the site, so embarrassed was I still. However, thankfully i was too late, and it was already on. Thankfully, because instead of being, as i thought, a good 20-30 minutes behind everybody else, it turns out i was behind the last but one competitor by a measly 10 minutes. Now - THAT i can live with. That news this morning only served to bring on an attack of the "if onlys"  IF ONLY, i had relaxed and ignored what was going on around me with the cone gatherers.  IF ONLY I had relaxed and jogged for the periods of time i knew i could.  And most importantly of all IF ONLY I had listened to my 7 time marathon companion Steph, who told me that all the way round the course!!!! I promise I'll pay heed to you the next time Steph, and I'm sorry for the tears and snotters on your shoulder lol.

Additionally, the support from sue and the jogScotland folk both at the end of the race and today has been absolutely top class. I really don't know where my head would have been all through this if I'm being honest without sue, Steph and my pal Emily, who appeared to have swallowed a quote book today lol. Thank you so much, i know I'm hard work, but please stick with me, i need it x and for anyone who doubts the power of social media in turning someone's life around - contact me, I'll fill you in on mine!

So, to sum up one hell of a weekend - with a full day today to think about it - I've decided i can do one of 2 things. I can let it get to me, decide I'm just not cut out to be a runner and chuck it. Or i could suck it up, get over myself and get on with it.

So......... jogScotland - please accept this as your first entry for the 2013 Santa dash and get ready for a different, stronger, fitter me to turn up. Oh aye, and don't bother bringing a clock that goes above 40 minutes, I'll not be needing it!  ;-) #famouslastwords #bravepills

Yesterday I turned 41

.... and I went out for a drink with friends, as I did last year for my 40th. However - there is where the similarities between those two days end.  My 40th was a complete watershed day for me. I had (have?) a very low self esteem. I worried that perhaps no one would come and have a drink with me. I didn't like myself very much, so why would others? 

What actually happened was a bit of a personal Epiphany, as TWENTY FIVE different people popped in at various points throughout the day. Now, if I'd had a party there may have been more, of course. However - I was expecting to go out for a few drinks with a couple of pals and thought maybe one or two more might pop in. You can see why 25 kind of blew me away a little. I've thought - all these people - some senior folk in my work even - have taken time out of their Saturday to wish me happy birthday and spend some time. I do not have the vocabulary to convey everything I felt that day

So what's happened since? Well, the answers are all in my preceding blog posts, but in short,  I've thought to myself - if all these people like me, I guess there must be something in there worth liking - so let's find out what it is?

My personal twitter profile, created in 2008, has on it "inside me is a runner trying to get out." Running is something I always thought I would do at some stage. So as soon as the weather got better, around the end of March last year - I started walking. At first I walked a mile. Half a mile from my house and back. And it almost killed me. However, I stuck with it - and after walking the race for life in June, I joined jog Scotland and from then I've become a new person. I'm struggling badly at the moment, physically, mentally and culinary,  but I WILL get through it, I WILL manage it.

What will my blog post for my 42nd birthday be about? I really cannot wait to find out!! x

Week 5

From a minute to a minute and I half last week, this week saw a move from and minute and a half to two minutes. Never in a month of Sundays will I be able to run for 2 minutes. I thought. So worried about it was I, that before my first "public" attempt at it at the club on Tuesday I had a go on Monday. Got myself out of the "I can't" mindset, by trying to just chill, relax and take it easy. Out I went for the 5 warm up walk. Then a light trot really for the one minute, making sure I was very aware of letting everything sort of hang loose and just breathe naturally. That went fine, breathing back to normal and during the minute walk mentally prepared myself for yet another perceived barrier. Again - off I trotted, very relaxed, very easy pace and just tried not to think about what I was doing and how long the time was.... listening to the music and waiting fo........... bloody hell - there's the beep to indicate the end! Wow, incredible - totally surprised myself there! Walked for 2 then a further minute jog and the 5 warm down, which was about 8 back to my starting point. Bit flabbergasted there, thoroughly enjoyed it and absolutely delighted with myself. Tuesday night out with the club was very similar - just chill, relax and almost just let it happen - let your body do the running, not your mind?   Then came Thursday!!! lol - oh my God did that two minutes hit me like a truck?! It felt like about 142 minutes ;-) but again - I have to remember the positives - if you'd said to me at the start of this block, just 4 short weeks ago I'd be running for 12 minutes in total by this week, I'd be looking up the number for those nice young men in their lovely white coats to come and get you.  So, another big step forward, and another step toward my ultimate aim. Well I say that like I actually have an ultimate aim :-) at the moment - I'm just going one step at a time. Which kind of helps for this running caper!!  Sayonara x

Task for the weekend

Is to update the spreadsheet which is now hopelessly out of date! Finger out Camp!

The end of week 4

Mixed week really, found the programme really tough going indeed, but the most I'd ever done in one session before though, was a minute. This week the jog/walk timings were 1,1.5 and 1 again. Effectively doubling what I'd ever done before? However, with a lot of huffing and puffing, and at times probably feeling I would be able to walk quicker than I was hirpling along at, in the end up, I managed it. I Think that's about all that can be said about it. I never smashed it, I never aced it, I never once felt "this is shooty in." But, the bottom line for me right now, is that I did it, I managed it and I can type that with a wee sense of satisfaction.

To infinity and beyooooond!!!!!!  as if I've not had enough sci-fi nonsense this week.......  ;-)

Very difficult tonight

1.5 min for the first time, plus 2x1 minutes as well with the reciprocal amounts of walking in between too. I felt at times like it was never going to end - but it did, and even though I was fair peched at the end, I did it. I'll get there, I know I Will. More nice compliments from folk at work today too - this also helps to keep me going. I'm very much an "under the radar" girl, but it's still nice when folk say that to you

Sunday morning

Up with the lark..... oh how I wish I could be honest and say that at 8am Daniel Boone was reverberating around my head telling me it was a beautiful day. Instead I had mother nature telling me in her own inimitable way that I wasn't built for running. Still, mankind trumps mother nature at some things and a couple of vit c and oil of evening primrose tablets with a half litre of water off I went. I basically just did the jog Scotland programme again. Thanks to T-Mobile through my loyalty to them I now have a spare phone that I can use purely for exercise. So I started my podcast playing, started endomondo and started the hiit trainer set to let me know when each new period started and went and did it.

Again, another barrier overcome, a sniffly nose, a stomach issue and of course, the inbuilt lazyitis that's afflicted me for years didn't stop me doing my bit. 5 weeks today to the Christmas cracker. How much of it Will I be able to run?

Now how does that song go again? Oh yeah......  hey hey hey it's a beautiful day!

So, tonight sees the end of week three

well I think it's week three.  It might be week four, I'm not too sure

That makes 13 weeks in total which is yet another milestone, being a full quarter of a year that I have went out "jogging" for at least 2 nights per week.  Off tomorrow too - so might be able to get out again tomorrow during the day and build it up a wee bit more.

Come sunday it'll be 5 weeks to the jogScotland Christmas Cracker, at which the challenge is twofold.  Firstly, for the first time, I'd like to be able to run for some of it.  And, if doing so allows me to beat the 63 minute time from June, then that's great.  The major incentive just now though, is to get to the stage where I am able to run for the full 5k distance.  Obviously this is not going to be possible at this event, but it will be interesting to see just how much of it I am able to run.   Timings can come at a later stage.

Aye the nights are fair drawin in!

So last night was the first night after the clocks went back, and the start of the period I hate most in the year. For the time I'm NOT at my work it's dark. And even some of the time I'm at my work..... it's dark. It's not a great time of year! 

Obviously it's also too dark then for me to be out wandering or attempting to jog on my tod, so I plan also on doing some swimming on my nights on my own. But last night I decided to just go to the gym and do my programme. This is week 3 of block 2, with the ultimate aim of walking/jogging/walking for 5 minutes each time. 

So, off I went - and did something I never felt capable of doing in the past, running, or at least attempting to run, in a gym, with all the "beautiful people" I did get a few looks - but I'm certain that was only due to my dayglo trainers that they were all very jealous of! I've posted a pic of my glow in the dark "Halloween" costume. 

Onwards and upwards - another so called reason for not exercising banished? What's your next excuse Campo?? ;-)

Tough mudder.....

Inadvertantly managed a trial run for this race at the weekend.  Set off for a nice walk around a friend's housing estate, with Muttley in tow.  Aforesaid Muttley seemed to require some urgent bodily function, so we decided to head off-road slightly to allow him to do so.  A few steps into the off road adventure, alarm bells began to ring, but at the top of the hill it looked a lot less wet and muddy so we decided to continue.  Anyway........ it errr wasn't :D  So we ended up trudging for a total of 5k in 63 minutes, more than half of which (time wise anyway it felt) was trudging through muck, and hanging on to (barbed wire) fences and pulling ourselves out of the muck.  63 minutes is an interesting time actually - being, as it was - the one and only official "race" time for me in a 5K (race for life June2012) So that in itself represents a huge improvement?

Lessons learned from that "walk" :-)

Tip 1 - wee picturesque country lanes are not quite so picturesque in Scotland after a week of rain. 

Tip 2 - barbed wire fences are jaggy! 

Tip 3 - trainers have a limited shelf life for partaking in aforementioned activity. And finally, 

Tip 4 - a Jack Russell loves running about in the muck. He's not so sure about the bath at the end of it tho!! ;-)

It's all worth it in the end tho - and I promise - the hill was much much bigger than this...... honest!

So...... that horse.....

Well there was neigh sign of it again last night, but tonight, well and truly saddled and riding high lol. Target was 5x30/30 jog/walk and I did 5x30 /30 and 5x30/60! I think I might pay for this tomorrow!! However - feeling great and very up for another 10 week block. Last week I was, rightly, chuffed with myself at completing the first 10 weeks. Tonight though, that's all behind me, albeit I'm still using the success as a motivator. If I've done one ten week block, I can do another one. Next stop Christmas Eve - ho ho ho! :-)

Very low today again

Not sure why. Not done any exercise since Thursday, so perhaps that. Dragged down by work, maybe, forgetting to take the iron and vitamin tablets over the weekend another possibility or maybe it's the money issue as normal at this time of the month. More probably all of the above. But I have to balance that with the thought that someone I haven't seen in ages says I'm looking brilliant and "disappearing in front of her eyes" and was really encouraging and positive with me! So let's get back on that horse and Get out for a run after work. Come on!!

Block one done and dusted.

Never ever would have thought it possible, but there we are.  All done.  All achieved.  Feel absolutely brilliant, very chuffed with myself, and very, very grateful to Cathy, Sharon, Shirley Anne, Les, Winnie, Sam and all the other jog leaders who haven't yet had the ermmmm "pleasure" of plodding along at a snail's pace with me of a evening.  I get the impression though - as the weather gets worse over the next few months, I might have a queue waiting to take me out and get back in again within half an hour or so lol.

Seriously - bring on the next 10 weeks.  And the next 10 after that!!! ;-)  Campbellinho's up for this now :D

Seriously need to update the spreadsheet and the link

night one of the final week of block one over with.  One night left of the first stage. #VeryProud

Week 9 complete

Would never have thought it possible! #amazed

week 9 begins...

I'll expand more on how I feel as I near another milestone, when I post next week, after (hopefully) finishing week 10. It's been a fair old journey, it's been emotional, it's been tough, it's been hard, it's been rewarding, it's been confidence building and it's been fab!!

I'm about 10 weeks away now, from my second ever 5k, and the first I'll be attempting to run parts of.  I feel different in a way.  I feel a little bit like if I'm able to run bits of this race it'll almost be a seal of approval.  Currently I feel a little bit like I'm wasting the jogScotland leaders who are going out with me time. I know that this is not the case, as I have said to them, but It's certainly not a run out for them, while at the same time it is absolutely knackering me.  I'm definitely seeing improvements though and each week I seem to be able to do more. So I feel a little bit like if I can run as much of this 5k as I can, I'll feel I belong a bit more.  The people in the club are absolutely brilliant to me and absolutely do not make feel feel like this - this is me thinking this.  I cannot praise jogscotland highly enough

what a difference a day makes?

Still drookit, still frezin, but slightly less knackered.  JogScotland night tonight and once again they are brilliant with me.  Felt a good bit easier tonight - maybe the lamp posts are helping.  Bring on the lamp posts!!! :D

Drookit, freezin an knackered!

So, I guess this is good?  Lamp posts tonight - 2.61K in 32 minutes. It actually felt a little bit easier - which I suppose given the weather is a good think.

Still really, really, REALLY struggling with the eating part - always feeling bloated and with a huge belly to cart about.  Still - I gess I keep going and get thru the autumn then winter.  Then we'll see what happens in the spring and summer.

Week 8 of 10 of the jog Scotland programme starts tomorrow night too - so we'll see how that goes.  Then phase two and the second 10 week block.  I guess I have to keep reminding myself how far I've come when I feel like this.