Week 3 of this 20 week block

........ dusted!!  All four nights done again and feeling awesome. Bring on week 4. I wish there was a fast forward button to take me to week 20 mind you, because I'm dying to see what I look like then!! I see progress in my appearance and I feel progress in my clothing. Still not weighed myself yet, and have no intentions of, but I also think it's fair to say that I've lost a wee bit. Happy happy happy x

The power of Freddie!!

Really didn't feel like this tonight at all - struggling for motivation big time, but I've been feeling awful lethargic all week. So anyway - off I went and to accompany my short drive I decided to blast "don't stop me now" and belt it out at the top of my lungs to get them going lol. It seemed to work - off we went with a different jog leader tonight. We did the 5 minute warm up then 8x30 jog/walks, followed by a alternate lamppost walk/jogging and a wee light wander to finish. Suffice to say when Freddie started again on the journey home, he got a wee wry smile ;-) Steph - I'm nicking your anthem, is that all right? X

Week 3

Worked it at body pump last night - tried to hammer the squats and lunges as my legs really aren't strong enough for this running. I feel it getting harder and harder and harder. Tonight's running was 6x30 sec pairs but a few uphills. It's difficult to explain how I feel this week - yesterday I felt grouchy and grumpy, today I feel a little spaced out and not able to concentrate on anything. Feeling a little low over doing less than Thursday, but a little more upbeat that a lot of it was uphill. This is a funny week :-/

Week two ends....

And overall - I'm very pleased.  Managed all four classes on both weeks.  Feeling fab and very energetic.  I'm even clearing out my wardrobes on a saturday and sunday, with enthusiasm now!!  Unheard of lol.  Slight knee pain between Thursday and Friday, but it's all fine today, so fingers crossed it's just been that it's not used to this kind of impact exercise.  2 down, 18 to go!!  Have also seen there's a 5K in Edinbrgh on 2nd December - which is my birthday.  Given that it was photos from that day LAST year that kick started all this, it seems like an apt one to be aiming to try and run.  So that's going to be my new target.  Similar to the old one of "run a 5K before Christmas" it'll now be "run the 5K in Edinburgh on 2/12"

another day another target aced!!

;-)  Yes!!!  What a difference taking it down from 10 reps to 8 reps.  Yes it's less, obviously - I know that.  But what a difference it made on Tuesday actually MANAGING what I set out to do!  The first week was a wee bit soul destroying knowing that I wasn't getting anywhere near the target and thinking just how much of a mountain I had to climb.  But lowering it very slightly to 8x25/30 jogging/walking was a masterstroke - thank you Cath!! So tonight I went there more buoyed up at managing it so much so that I did 8x30/30 jogging tonight with the 8th one actually being a FULL MINUTE!! Yessssssssss!  Just brilliant.  I'm so chuffed.  A big thank you to Sharon and Cath for sticking with me.  One day you'll get to read this - and you'll realise just how big a part you played in this for taking the time to do something which must be as hard for yo to slow down to as it is for me to make it up to.  I really appreciate it girls xx

Success!!

At last!  Well, sort of.  Third night at the jogging and third different person to take me lol.  Poisoned chalice indeed.  However - I just have to get on with it and do my best for every single one.  Tonight I was set the task of 8x25 secs running and 8x30 secs walking, with the 5 mins warm up and down and I DID it!!!  I'm so chuffed that I actually achieved something I was set instead of continually failing.  What a boost, what a buzz!!

Really struggled

With my head last night. Could not be bothered going to body pump as had a rotten day at work, shit journey home and had some other stuff to do too. With little encouragement I would have quite happily sacked the body pump and heading to do other things instead. However, they will still be there when I'm built like a Greek goddess instead of rivalling the Parthenon for acreage.

However - again I fought this wee inner demon trying to derail me and made myself go. And again, I was so glad I did. I did some extra weight at my strongest part - the arms - and kept the same for the rest. I achieved more in the legs dept in terms of squats and lunges and I felt boosted by the fact that our permanent instructor was back. Having only went back to the body pump last week, I didn't know her as she was off. However, it transpires that she is an extremely "normal" person. By that I mean she's not a superfit young lassie who's idea of overweight is doubling up on the lettuce leaves lol. She seems to have been a person who has an idea of weight issues and the mental struggles that they bring. I have to assume from her advice that she has been there too.

So bring on tonight with jog Scotland. Let's get this phase one level NAILED!!

End of week 1 thoughts

It's been an up and down week mentally. At times I've felt like throwing in the towel. Last night I almost walked out on the body pump too when I felt like it was going to be just me and when I felt how warm it was. And it was Friday night. But I made myself go. Because they are all just excuses really. I mean, what else would I have done? I needed to get the kitchen tidied and my washing done and bag packed for going away. So that extra hour and a half could have come in handy. But I did all that when I got home, and I got home with a lot more energy, vigour and motivation and in a lot more positive a frame of mind than I would've done if I hadn't gone.

Overall - that's I suppose representative of my week as a whole. There's been tough bits, bits where I've wanted to chuck it, highs, lows but ultimately.....? I'm glad I've done it and made it through. I'm proud of myself, but not getting carried away. I still can't do the beginners level, so I've a lot more work to do, but hey, still lapping everybody on the couch!! So - so far? Yessssss! Come on! One down, nineteen to go!

Tonight was a killer

It seems I was too much for the lovely man from Tuesday night to handle as he passed on the very hefty "help get campo fit" burden to a very nice lady. But boy did she make me work hard. Harder than I thought I was capable of and yes at times I succumbed and quit a few seconds early on the running bit, but in the end up - I did more than I did on Tuesday in progressing toward the "start line" of the programme. I'll not lie to you tho - we passed several bus stops, and had I had money in my hipper - I could have been tempted to chuck it all in. There were times when I felt I could not walk never mind run another single solitary step. There were times when I felt tears welling up in my eyes. But I kept going, and that is at least something I can be proud of tonight. I DID NOT QUIT! I think however, taking me might well become "the poisoned chalice" of this club. Time will tell I guess. If I have yet another person on Tuesday, I suppose I will know.

Anyway - back to documenting my feelings on how I felt. Following the stretches, I wandered to the car cursing that it was more than a foot away from where I stood! :-) my gut feeling right then and there was that I just wasn't cut out for it. My legs were like jelly, I wasn't able to achieve the beginners standard yet again and my instructor had abandoned me. All in all, I felt quite sorry for myself (you may have gathered this already lol) however, I drove home, made my dinner, downed a gallon of water while waiting, and marveled at how remarkably not sore I felt compared to Tuesday, and how those legs that were wobbly just 1km up the road felt very steady. As it was such a lovely night I sat outside and ate my dinner and mulled over what had happened. Tonight was hot. Very hot. Remember this is Glasgow, where anything above about -2 is classed as warm (yes, even in August!) So really what happened tonight was that I did better than I've ever done before, on a very very warm uncomfortable night.

So am I going back on Tuesday? You better believe it! And I'll have fitted in 2 sessions of body pump in between it too!!

A few more thoughts...

since I cannot sleep. At no point through this entire journey have I weighed myself. Nor do I have any invention to. I can clearly see and feel the difference, the people to whom I am closest and who know about this, tell me THEY can see a difference and most importantly I feel great. Now, cynics among you may say that close family and friends are "only saying that" to encourage me, when actually they don't see a difference. This is a thought that has definitely crossed my mind on more than one occasion also. However - the fact that today my favourite top looked like it was falling off me (sniff, sob), together with the fact that the people who are telling me this, I would 100% trust not to lie to me. Particularly not on this as they know how much it's meaning to me to do this. In fact, I said to one of those people earlier tonight - I can now see myself, in my mind's eye, crossing a finishing line somewhere, sometime with the tears tripping me. She says I'm weird, but apparently this is a good thing. I'll trust her on this, she runs marathons!! 

Second thing to note in this. I am NOT on a diet. I am a big girl now and I can eat what I want lol. Diets do not work, they are completely designed to make the company promoting it money and I also believe in some cases that they may be unhealthy. For years I have endured the "should you be having that if you're on a diet" jibes from the "tearoom police" This is another reason why I have kept this whole thing to myself. My menu consists, on the whole, of what it always has. I just now have some things in more quantity and some in less. For instance, my day generally will be cereal, sandwiches, dinner of some description. That's what it's always looked like. Difference now is that I have more fruit in between these meals, I have more rice, fewer chips (not that chips was a big vice of mine) more veg, fewer carry outs. But nothing at all is "not allowed" because by far the biggest difference now is in my having a hugely positive mindset rather than a hugely negative one. No more phrases like the aforementioned "not allowed" "I can't have that" "I shouldn't" "no thanks I'm being good" or any other such nonsense. Instead if I feel like having chocolate, or a Chinese, or a kebab, or a cooked breakfast, or a night or two (or three lol) out on the razz. I'll have it! Why shouldn't I? I can still achieve what I want to achieve by having these things occasionally. What I'm finding since I started this is that the more progress I see, the less I'm CHOOSING to eat this type of thing. Because that I think is the key word here - "choice". This whole thing and this whole life, well, it's mine, nobody else's. That makes it MY choice. And I'm choosing the road to the hairy Haggis :-) it's a tough road at times, but the upside far outweighs the down side.  And nobody said it was going to be an easy ride.

Putting my soapbox away to try for some sleep now ;-)

First night of jogscotland

Well - I did it.  I was right to panic a wee bit though lol, the 30 second runs were out of my reach, so we went for 10x20 second jogs and 10x40 seconds walking to start with, and we'll do the same again on Thursday.  I am the sole member of the "Beginners1" group so I have my own personal jog leader, which is actually great.  He's a really lovely man.  Really encouraging and very knowledgeable about what he was doing.  Very helpful indeed.  Back on Thursday for the same again and I'm back now, to being totally up for it again. however - I now have sore bits in places I never even knew existed, so I guess I must be doing something right!! Anyway - week one of twenty is now officially half way through, and I'm bloody knackered but happy!! :D

Nervous nervous nervous

ok, am really really nervy tonight ready to start this jogging programme.  It's been one thing plugging away at this myself, but it's another to be going out with other people who are miles miles fitter than me. I'll be keeping them back, and I'll be slowest and last at everything.  They said if needs be I can have one jog leader with me alone, but that's going to be embarrassing.  I'm actually on the verge of NOT going here, but I will.  I'm starting to have the "heavy breathing" panic attack type stuff, but I have to control that now and settle myself.  I'll just need to keep repeating my new mantra - "no matter how slow you are going, you're still lapping everyone on the couch"

Back to the body pump tonight

For the first time in over 3 years! OH MY GOD!! I used to warm up and warm down with 2kg weights on each side and do the heavier parts with 5 and sometimes 7 on each side. Tonight, I was later in, so there were only 2.5kg weights left, so I put them on. My word did I struggle with them!!  However - this gives me more motivation to keep going and to succeed at this. if I manage to do the logging twice a week and the body pump twice a week, what a difference this will make to me! #20weeks Then a wee rest over Christmas followed by a further #20weeks leading up to the hairy Haggis. More motivated than ever now - let's keep this going campo, I CAN do this!!! X

20 weeks til Christmas!

Jingle bells and all that! How I know this is because my 20 week programme that starts today finishes the Christmas week. Starts tonight with the body pump - can't wait!! :-)

Oh Yeah - tonight's walking

Was 3k up to the gym and back. Still loaded with the cold, so took it easy - 40minute return journey. Also in addition to the jogging for the next 20 weeks I'll be returning to the body pump classes I used to love. Definitely one night a week, Mondays, but will Also be trying to go to as many of the Friday night classes too. Twice a week jogging and twice a week body pump?? Jings, I'll soon hae another west side story chant "I feel pretty, oh so pretty.... " lol aye OK - let's no get carried away here Campo, it's exercise no plastic bloody surgery. Ta ta the noo!! X

Tonight, tonight -

It all began tonight.... a line from my favourite ever musical, and tonight my next stage has begun. Signed up for the jog Scotland programme, God help them, they are going to need patience the like of which they have never thought possible. So from Tuesday, each Tues and Thurs I will do their programme, the first part of which ends at Christmas. By then running the 5k should be in the bag (she said confidently!!) Then from January - a further 20 weeks and the hairy Haggis shall be mine!! Ooh errr missus! BRING. IT. ON!