since I cannot sleep. At no point through this entire journey have I weighed myself. Nor do I have any invention to. I can clearly see and feel the difference, the people to whom I am closest and who know about this, tell me THEY can see a difference and most importantly I feel great. Now, cynics among you may say that close family and friends are "only saying that" to encourage me, when actually they don't see a difference. This is a thought that has definitely crossed my mind on more than one occasion also. However - the fact that today my favourite top looked like it was falling off me (sniff, sob), together with the fact that the people who are telling me this, I would 100% trust not to lie to me. Particularly not on this as they know how much it's meaning to me to do this. In fact, I said to one of those people earlier tonight - I can now see myself, in my mind's eye, crossing a finishing line somewhere, sometime with the tears tripping me. She says I'm weird, but apparently this is a good thing. I'll trust her on this, she runs marathons!!
Second thing to note in this. I am NOT on a diet. I am a big girl now and I can eat what I want lol. Diets do not work, they are completely designed to make the company promoting it money and I also believe in some cases that they may be unhealthy. For years I have endured the "should you be having that if you're on a diet" jibes from the "tearoom police" This is another reason why I have kept this whole thing to myself. My menu consists, on the whole, of what it always has. I just now have some things in more quantity and some in less. For instance, my day generally will be cereal, sandwiches, dinner of some description. That's what it's always looked like. Difference now is that I have more fruit in between these meals, I have more rice, fewer chips (not that chips was a big vice of mine) more veg, fewer carry outs. But nothing at all is "not allowed" because by far the biggest difference now is in my having a hugely positive mindset rather than a hugely negative one. No more phrases like the aforementioned "not allowed" "I can't have that" "I shouldn't" "no thanks I'm being good" or any other such nonsense. Instead if I feel like having chocolate, or a Chinese, or a kebab, or a cooked breakfast, or a night or two (or three lol) out on the razz. I'll have it! Why shouldn't I? I can still achieve what I want to achieve by having these things occasionally. What I'm finding since I started this is that the more progress I see, the less I'm CHOOSING to eat this type of thing. Because that I think is the key word here - "choice". This whole thing and this whole life, well, it's mine, nobody else's. That makes it MY choice. And I'm choosing the road to the hairy Haggis :-) it's a tough road at times, but the upside far outweighs the down side. And nobody said it was going to be an easy ride.
Putting my soapbox away to try for some sleep now ;-)
No comments:
Post a Comment